Feeling chronically busy, buried and behind in your life? It may be time to change some thinking, break some old habits, and take action to clear the way for more peace of mind and effectiveness.
Here are 5 of the most common “overwhelm” traps I see when coaching my high achieving clients. I’ve blindly fallen into many these traps myself over the course of my career (that’s what makes it so easy for me to see in my clients!). See if you recognize yourself in any of them (my guess is you will) and if so, try to make one simple change to shift your thinking and your actions this week. Let me know how it goes!
1. Lone Ranger
Some of us just prefer to ‘go it alone’. We‘re tied to the belief that our (and our team’s) success or failure depends solely on us. And, we kinda like being the hero who saves the day. But being the Lone Ranger leads to overwhelm and high levels of stress because you feel overly responsible, believe that everything is on your shoulders and that you must have all the answers.
Successful people leverage the power of partnership and collaboration. Ask for help. Become masterful at delegating. Invest in developing the systems and support so that you can let go and let others step up. It will make your life so much better.
2. Direction Du Jour
Chasing too many new ideas, changes or projects distracts you and drains your most valuable resources (time, energy, abilities and focus). You end up not accomplishing much of anything and feel frustrated, behind and overwhelmed.
Clarity of vision is a product of clear headedness. When you are constantly chasing new ideas you aren’t taking the time you need to clearly focus and reflect on the best way to get where you want to be. It’s time to stop, look and listen. Block out “non busy” time in your calendar every week to create the space for clarity and focus to guide you.
3. DIY Default
The DIY (Do It Yourself) default applies to you if you are the one who always steps in and does the work because ‘it’s just easier that way’. People bring problems, you solve them. People get stuck on a project or task and you take over the work and do it yourself. People ask questions and you take it upon yourself to get the answers.
You may see yourself as better at doing the ‘work’ than others around you—or hold a belief that ‘if you want something done right, you might as well do it yourself’. Or, maybe you’d just rather do something yourself because taking the time to teach someone just sounds like more work.
Seriously. Get over yourself. You’ve confused being efficient with being effective. They just aren’t the same thing. How effective is it to do everything for everyone around you, all the while feeling busy, buried, behind and resentful? I’m not trying to be harsh, but you’ve got to put a little more faith in others. And, yes, teaching someone else will take time. But once you’ve done it, you’ll free up your time and energy for more productive pursuits!
4. The TA-DA Trap
Do you feel a constant pressure to achieve? Do you spend hours upon hours trying to get every detail just right when you’re working on a project? Do you feel you haven’t done enough no matter how hard you try? Do you give up pleasure in order to be the best?
If you answered YES to even 2 of those, you are suffering from the “Ta Da” trap—you know, wanting everything to be perfect so that when you unveil it you can say “TA DA!” and everyone around you applauds (Ok, maybe not literally, but you get my drift).
It’s time to make a very important distinction: between doing a job right and doing a job perfectly. When you focus on “doing a job right” you still hold high standards for quality and timeliness but without the time and energy draining pressure for it to be perfect. In fact, the perfection trap probably costs you more than you realize—in terms of sleepless nights, missed deadlines, and alienating those around you. It’s just not worth it.
5. Climbing Other People’s Mountains
Sometimes we see someone achieve a level of success and we want it too (like getting that promotion, building a business, or hitting a major financial milestone). Or, we find ourselves on a path because that’s what is expected of us. We may even avoid pursing goals we truly want for fear of disappointing someone (parents, boss, spouse, friends).
This is climbing someone else’s mountain–defining your success by someone else’s standards , achievements or timeline. When you don’t take the time to find your own way, in your own time, you get lost. You become overwhelmed because you aren’t following your own natural interests, desires, values and priorities. You procrastinate on things, struggle to keep pace and may even fail.
Take regular time to check in and make sure you’re on YOUR OWN path to happiness, satisfaction and success. If something you’re doing is draining you, that’s a sure sign that you are off course and climbing someone else’s mountain. Try taking baby steps towards listening to yourself first. Go on an ‘input ’ diet. Stop asking others for input and validation for a while and get used to trusting your own inner wisdom.
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